The Morning Briefing: Feminists Just Want to Stick It to the Man (and the Woman)!

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Thursday, Morning Briefing friends. You know, people tend to react badly when you try on their clothes fresh out of the dryer at the laundromat.

Kruiser’s enjoying some much-needed, well-deserved time off, so for now, you’re stuck with me. But don’t worry: I’m keeping the Kabana (which I’ve renamed Chris’s Cabana for the next two days) well-stocked with bourbon.

What is it with feminists? It used to be that feminists just wanted to make sure that men treated women with respect. Now they’re nothing more than garden-variety leftist radicals with fouler mouths and hairier armpits.

Kevin gives us some insight into why feminists and their left-wing “allies” are so obsessed with abortion:

Liberals believe that the one thing that truly hurts conservatives to the core, that really steams their clams, their kryptonite, is a woman walking into an abortion clinic and ending a pregnancy. And the later that abortion is performed, the deeper the dagger is plunged into the heartless chest cavities of every soul-free, woman-hating conservative, or so they believe.

As a former leftist, he knows what he’s talking about, and he concludes that piece with this insight:

Pro-choice commies are no different, nor are their political masters. Biden refuses to denounce the protests in front of the homes of conservative Supreme Court justices. House Democrats refused to provide the justices with more security, even after an assassination attempt on Justice Kavanaugh’s life that the Pravda clown-press barely mentioned. Local law enforcement refuses to arrest the protestors, even though protesting outside justices’ homes is illegal. I call that systemic hatred.

On top of that, Megan Rapinoe, who is the most insufferable female athlete in the world — and not just for her stupid purple hair — has come down on the side of allowing men to compete with women and beat them in athletic competitions. Because, you know, she’s woke as a joke.

Kevin explains her, um, reasoning in another terrific column yesterday:

While real women are fighting for equality in female sports, Rapinoe is nail-gunning her industry to death before young girls can have a chance at the big time. Why would Rapinoe et tu, Brutus her own industry and scuttle opportunities for legions of little girls who are sure to lose trophies and scholarships to boys? Because, despite her so-called dedication to women, she is a slave to “wokeness,” and she doesn’t have the non-binary reproductive organs to stand up and use her voice for what is right and help other young female athletes succeed in sports the way she has succeeded. Rapinoe is a coward.

Kevin also points out that Rapinoe is sitting in the cat-bird seat because, as an established soccer star, she doesn’t have to worry about some dude pretending to be a chick taking her spot on the team.

If men were allowed to play women’s soccer, Rapinoe might not even be on a team. Weird how she’s down with the woke cause now that SHE is rich, right?

It’s definitely funny how it all works out. All those years spent trying to smash the patriarchy, and they’ll all wind up losing to the trans-matriarchy. Who will they blame for that?

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Chris’s Cabana

Cabana Gallery
Music Break

A stripped-down version of one of my favorite songs by the phenomenal Clay Cook:

Cabana Comedy

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