The Morning Briefing: Who Are the Idiots Who Still Think the CDC Has Any Credibility?

Top O’ the Briefing

Have the CDC Geniuses Been Right About Anything?

Happy Wednesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Crudités and wine on the mezzanine at 3:42 PM sharp. Pants optional.

Full disclosure: I’ve never really trusted doctors. Yeah, I wanted to be one back in the day but then I decided to hit the road and tell jokes for a living.

Save me your sob stories about your parents’ disappointment in your career choices.

Anyway, that’s just one of the many reasons I haven’t gotten swept up in the Cult of Fauci. Even if I were in awe of physicians, Fauci is really a bureaucrat. He went to work for the National Institutes of Health when Richard Nixon was president. No doubt the guy is brilliant when it comes to filling out government forms, but he’s been a bumbling buffoon with this pandemic guru gig.

His cohorts over at the Centers for Disease Control haven’t performed much better under pressure. Bless their hearts, that hasn’t made them give up their petty tyranny ambitions, which Paula wrote about yesterday:

On Tuesday, the CDC released a statement on its website with updated COVID-19 guidance, including masking recommendations.

“To maximize protection from the Delta variant and prevent possibly spreading it to others, wear a mask indoors in public if you are in an area of substantial or high transmission,” the CDC said. “Wearing a mask is most important if you have a weakened immune system or if, because of your age or an underlying medical condition, you are at increased risk for severe disease, or if someone in your household has a weakened immune system, is at increased risk for severe disease, or is unvaccinated. If this applies to you or your household, you might choose to wear a mask regardless of the level of transmission in your area.” [Emphasis added]

There are so many languages available to learn for free on apps like Duolingo that I’m learning how to say, “Oh HELL no!” in every one of them just to add some variety to my reactions to the government mask overlords.

This is all such a you-know-what show that I wonder if this country will survive until Halloween.

On the same day that the CDC issued its latest change-of-mind-masquerading-as-science, our alleged president was attempting to exhort people to get vaccinated by calling them stupid.

But wait, sports fans, there’s more:

A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) document obtained by ABC News shows that “breakthrough” COVID-19 infections — among those who are already vaccinated — are extremely rare, despite headlines and scare stories in the media.

More than 156 million Americans have been fully vaccinated. The CDC estimates that there have been approximately 153,000 infections among vaccinated individuals — about 0.098 percent. This number comes from an unpublished internal CDC document obtained by ABC News.

“The risk to fully vaccinated people is dramatically less than that to unvaccinated individuals. The occurrence of breakthrough cases is expected and, at this point, is not at a level that should raise any concerns about the performance of the currently available vaccines,” said Matthew Ferrari, director of the Center for Infectious Disease Dynamics at Pennsylvania State University.

If you’re keeping score at home, the story goes something like this: vaccinated people should start wearing masks indoors again and everyone else should get vaccinated if you don’t want the dumbest president in history calling you stupid, and the same organization that came up with the first part has documentation that proves they’re all full of crap.

Yesterday I was recording a podcast with my friend Carol Roth, who just published a brilliant book titled 

Carol and I were discussing the latest from the CDC and I asked her: “How are there any people left in America who think the CDC has any credibility?”

We were both mystified.

Once more, with feeling: Pressuring people to get vaccinated while you’re telling those who are vaccinated that we still need to be wearing masks isn’t a winning message. Seriously, is there no one in government who can figure this out?

No. No there isn’t. Because they’re all morons.

The government we deserve, indeed.

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The great Jackie Mason died this past weekend at the age of 93. This interview with Carson is filled with gems. Watch the whole thing. His timing was impeccable.

I’m organizing a festival called Burning Mask.

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