If It’s Not an Election Year, Political Signs on Your Lawn Are Obnoxious

You’ve all seen them. Maybe some of you have them. They’re the identifying marker of a member of the New Woke Order and they are displayed in gardens across America where they stand with virtuous pomposity that demands you notice: someone in this house is better than you. I’m here to tell you to stop it. You’re obnoxious.

I think we can trace the woke patrol back to whoever started manufacturing these things. If it’s not an election year, political signs don’t belong in your yard, littering the view and polluting the atmosphere. Election years are hard enough with the constant onslaught of political commercials on TV, featuring scary music depicting the opposition as the WORST. PERSON. EVER. Most people just want to throw stuff at the screen rather than sit through that. But then I go to the grocery store and have to pass 1,000 of these on the way, and it makes me feel like it’s time for a stay in the nuthouse. Why is everyone so insistent that their personal beliefs (that are also political in nature) must be foisted on everyone else at every moment? Pardon me, but SHUT THE #!&! UP!

No one needs this. And let’s also talk about how hypocritical these stupid signs are. My personal favorite is the “Hate Has No Home Here” sign. Every time I see one I feel like putting on my MAGA hat and knocking on their door to test that theory. Chances are I’d be chased off their property while being assaulted by hateful slurs like “Nazi” and other ridiculous hateful lies. The sign itself implies that anyone who disagrees with far-left ideology is the “hate” that isn’t welcome there. They hate the haters referenced on the sign of no hate! Seriously, how do you not laugh at people like this?

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The sign pictured in the above tweet is full of nice-sounding things that make most people think, “How could I disagree with any of that?” I’ll tell you how.

  1. No human is illegal: Misleading. The United States has laws and borders. It is definitely illegal to cross the border without going through the immigration process. That doesn’t make a person illegal, but it does make him or her a criminal by definition. If you believe in legal immigration and think people should come here through a proper process, the owner of the sign is accusing you of believing that people south of the border are “illegal” by existing, which is false.
  2. Women’s Rights are Human Rights: Misleading. Ask them how they feel about unborn women’s rights.
  3. Black Lives Matter: Misleading. Yes, black lives do matter. But Black Lives Matter is an organization with ties to communist Marxists who seek to overthrow our system of government. Disagreeing with their political stance does not make you a racist who doesn’t believe that black lives matter. You can’t tell this to a sign owner, though. They will deny it and stick their fingers in their ears as they hum loudly to drown out the facts.
  4. Climate Change is Real: Misleading. Well, are we talking about the weather? Because the weather is real. Weather fluctuates. But if you’re trying to tell me that we’re all going to die from global warming or freezing … girl, they’ve been selling this story since I was 10. Back then they told us we would be in an ice age by the time I was 25. I’m 45 and still no ice age. Al Gore’s Doom Clock ran out about 10 years ago. Nothing the climate alarmists have been raging about for years has come true. So, when do we stop believing them? (Also, why is it no longer “global warming”?)
  5. Love is Love: Misleading. Most people agree with this. But this admonishment is actually aimed at people who ask nicely, “Could you do what you want in your personal life but please don’t give my 10-year-old graphic books about blowjobs in school?” Somehow, if you’re that person, asking for your child to have a childhood without graphic sex, you’re a book-burning homophobe.
  6. Kindness is everything: Misleading AF. This isn’t serious, is it? Kind? There are a lot of adjectives I could use to describe leftists, but “kind” is not one of them. These are the same people who think that if you don’t call them the proper xe/xir/thim/ther pronouns or you say the wrong thing one time, you should lose your job and be unemployable. Most of them also think that if you don’t let the government force-vaccinate you, you shouldn’t be allowed to get a kidney transplant. How kind! 

Who remembers the old adage that it’s not polite to discuss politics or religion when you first meet someone? Nowadays, I haven’t even met you yet but I have to know your political views on my way to the farm store. There is nothing more insufferable than this kind of virtue signaling. Why do people do this? Should I post a sign in my front yard that says, “In this house, we believe that everyone who has signs on their lawn is a total moron”? I would never do that because I hope that when people drive past my house, my yard gives off a cheery, welcoming vibe. I’m not trying to keep half the population away from me, because I don’t live in a media-induced state of fear of my neighbors who have different political opinions than I do.

If you have one of these obnoxious signs, do your fellow man a favor and throw it in the trash. Stop labeling everyone you disagree with as a bad person, because you’re wrong. And it makes you the bigot.

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