What’s Worse: CNN’s Ratings or Eating Cicadas? (Answer? Both.)

On Monday, one could have diagnosed CNN’s New Day co-host Brianna Keilar deciding to eat cicadas as the show’s “shark jumping” moment, but that would have meant that the show was successful to begin with when, in reality, it’s been a dumpster fire since its April 19 reboot.

Nielsen Media Research has the numbers and, unless you’re puppetmaster Jeff Zucker and his minions with their heads in the sand, they’re not pretty with an audience of under 500,000 total viewers for five weeks in a row (with only the first week being north of that).

Coming off its worst week of 2021, CNN decided that eating cicadas as a preview of how Americans should be required to eat in the future (thanks to climate change, or something like that). It should be noted that, just a day later, the FDA came out with a warning that cicadas shouldn’t be consumed “if you’re allergic to seafood.”

So, if cicadas shouldn’t be consumed by anyone with a seafood allergy, then what are they supposed to eat in this socialist utopia?

Keilar twice teased this endeavor in the 7:00 a.m. Eastern hour before finally arriving at the segment, which began by citing how the reemergence of cicadas (dubbed Brood X) numbers in the trillions was welcome news to sushi chef Bun Lai, who’s “excited to….put them on his menu.”

She joked that she was “not really ready, I have to be honest,” but Lai quickly assured the liberal co-host that cicadas are a scrumptious food because “eating insects is really the future and it’s been the past of humanity as well.”

Lai had her pick out a cannister of live cicadas and begin rolling them in seaweed to form a sushi roll so as to trick her into thinking she’d be eating live cicadas.

Along with Keilar’s joke that her “husband is, like, not going to kiss me for a week,” Lai revealed that she’d instead eat a pre-made sushi roll of boiled cicadas, leaving her relieved that a cicada jokingly named after co-host John Berman wouldn’t face a gruesome end.

After more banter between Keilar and Berman (who somehow skirted this assignment), Keilar finally took a bite, which consisted of a cringeworthy crunch and Keilar remarking that it was “actually quite delicious” that reminded her of “soft-shelled crab” or “a spider roll.”

If you’ve survived this far in the blog, we’ll give you a reprieve by digging deeper into New Day’s ratings. Week-to-week, the show was flat in total viewers and down two percent in the 25-54 demographic, but over the last two weeks, it’s been a steeper drop of 10 percent in total viewers and 14 percent in the demo.

So instead of shifting gears from leftist and Fox News-hating punditry masquerading as journalism, Zuckerville might want to change its tune. But like the idea that cicadas are a delectable meal of the future, CNN has plowed ahead into the abyss.

Following Lai’s salesman pitch that people should get used to eating things like cicads because “[w]e’re going to have to shift the way we eat,” Keilar concluded with nothing but effusive praise for him and proceeding to eat more cicadas.

Gross.

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