The first rule of Sex Club is…

To say that some of the denizens of New York City are taking their social distancing responsibilities a bit on the light side would probably be something of an understatement. Just last week we learned that the NYPD had been called to break up a real-life “fight club” where hundreds of people were drinking, getting high, and, well… fighting, all without the benefit of masks or other safety precautions. Not to be outdone, a different group was busted by the Gotham Sheriffs for going in the opposite direction and throwing a similarly large gathering, but instead of fighting, they were engaging in group sex activities. Described as an “underground swingers sex club,” the revelers had advertised a Caligula themed bash in Queens and appeared to be creating quite a ruckus before they were shut down. (NY Post)

An underground swingers sex party was broken up overnight in Queens for violating pandemic gathering restrictions, the New York City Sheriff’s Office announced.

Caligula, which bills itself on Facebook as a “private upscale on premise swingers club” in Astoria, was caught hosting more than 80 people, bumping loud music and unlawfully serving alcohol, Sheriff Joseph Fucito said.

When sheriff deputies arrived, they found three couples having sex in a small room while others were gathered across the venue unlawfully drinking alcohol and socializing, according to the sheriff and pictures of the event.

As with the fight club story from last week, the fact that the Sheriff’s deputies had been tipped off means that somebody forgot the First Rule of Sex Club. You don’t talk about Sex Club… particularly to law enforcement.

Another similarity is that the cops apparently weren’t charging anyone with operating a swinger’s club. (Maybe that’s legal and I just didn’t realize it?) They got them for violating the Mayor’s social distancing rules and serving alcohol without a license. I suppose we can understand the social distancing aspect of the situation, whether you agree with the lockdown orders or not. When you have what’s being described as “a small room” with four beds and a couch crammed into it and a group of people in various states of undress “getting busy” with each other, a mask probably isn’t going to do much to flatten the curve.

One of the many strange aspects of this story is the fact that only one of the 80 or more people attending the party was arrested. But she wasn’t one of the organizers and wasn’t even engaging in any sexual activity. Jennifer Hayes, 47, insists that she was one of the few people wearing a mask all evening and she was only there for the DJ and the music because “there’s no other options. You can’t go anywhere.” She wound up mouthing off to the Sheriff’s deputies and getting in their faces, leading to her eventual arrest.

Perhaps I just lead a sheltered life, but I really wasn’t aware this sort of thing was still going on in the modern era, particularly in the middle of a pandemic. We only recently learned that there’s been a big spike in gonorrhea cases in Michigan this year, so perhaps there’s a lot more of this going on than I would have imagined. And after this report, we should probably keep an eye on the STD numbers in the Big Apple as well. People have to think up things to keep themselves occupied during the lockdowns, right? And joining “swinger” clubs is apparently one of the options on the menu now.

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